Sitting With Your Feelings: A Guide to Embracing Your Emotions
The term 'sitting with your feelings' may feel vague and confusing. Yet, learning to do so is extremely powerful and can be a great tool in increasing positive mental health. Put simply, to sit with your feelings is the act of being aware of each emotion as it comes and using it as a guide in understanding yourself better.
Here are some ways to practice making space for your feelings:
1. Notice your go-to reactions.
Keep a log or journal to mindfully observe your behavior when an emotion comes up for you. When you are feeling a strong feeling, what is your instinct reaction? Do you reach for your phone, dive into work, or distract yourself by going out? Or do you find yourself responding and going into 'fixing mode' right away? By tracking your behaviors and processes, you can start to recognize what your go-to actions may be. Reflection on this can help you become more intentional about staying with your feelings when they come up.
2. Label and acknowledge your feelings.
When a feeling arises, take a moment to label it. This could look like pausing, taking a breath, and asking yourself, "What am I feeling right now?" Is it sadness, anxiety, anger, or something entirely different? Notice where in your body this feeling is manifesting.
After you've labeled the feeling, acknowledge it. This could be by making a mental note or saying out loud, 'I am feeling sad.' By doing this, you are honoring your emotional experience and allowing the feeling to be there without trying to change or challenge it right away.
3. Don't judge your feelings.
You might feel uneasy or afraid of what an emotion represents. This discomfort can make it challenging to process the feeling entirely. However, learning to approach your emotions without judgment can help you navigate them more effectively. Instead of labeling a feeling as "good" or "bad," try seeing it as a neutral signal from your brain. Approach the feeling with curiosity and compassion. Validating your own emotions is a necessary step in processing them.
4. Understand what your feelings are telling you.
By not judging your feelings, you can start to view them as a form of guidance. Ask yourself: What is this feeling trying to tell me? Emotions like anxiety might be a signal to slow down, practice self-care, or switch up your routine. Your sadness may represent a desire for connection or change. Whatever the emotion is, make the time to sit with it and explore what it is asking of you.
Allow yourself to feel the emotion fully without rushing to fix or dismiss it. Then, gently reflect on what steps you can take next that align with your values and goals. Sitting with your feelings does not mean allowing them to take over. Sitting with your feelings means giving yourself the time and space to process them and decide what you can do next to make yourself feel better.
Sitting with your feelings is important because unprocessed emotions do not just go away. They can show up unexpectedly, influencing your self-esteem, behaviors, and overall well-being. While it can be challenging, taking the time to notice your reactions, labeling your feelings, approaching them without judgment, and understanding what they’re trying to tell you can make a big difference. By creating the space to sit with your emotions, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself and promote healing and growth.
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